My wife and I celebrated our second marriage anniversary this week, by going out to eat. Though we were able to go eat at the same restaurant as last year, our anniversary this year looked a lot different. Last year my wife and I went out on a complete date. We started the night with a hot yoga class, went out to eat sushi, and finished up by going to see a movie. This year, because of covid-19, we were only able to go out to eat. When we ate this year, we were slingshotting our masks across the table at each other where last year we wouldn’t have even thought about wearing masks.
It’s been a year since coronavirus entered all of our lives worldwide, and though times have changed and our culture has adapted in certain ways, it’s difficult not to make comparisons and yearn for how things were pre-covid. As we enter the end of the year we’re all experiencing less-celebrated anniversaries of our own with the coronavirus and how it has affected each of our lives.
The Pandemic at First
At first, many Americans (at least where I live) were shrugging off the pandemic as “no big deal” and “nothing to worry about”. I remember many who thought covid wouldn’t ever breach our nation’s shores. I remember hearing early whispers of covid-19 and laying in bed awake and scared for my family. We knew basically nothing about it at that point except that it was a highly contagious virus with no cure that killed people by slow and eventual suffocation.
As the weeks went by the virus spread across continents. It still hadn’t gotten to the United States as far as all of us knew, but we were all slowly becoming more aware of the fact that there was something going on. I specifically remember one night lying next to my wife as we were going to bed and asking her, “What are we going to do when it gets here?” Neither of us had an answer to that question, and we were both extremely worried. At this point, we had no idea how dangerous the virus was. All information that we had was extremely basic and limited. Our state government hadn’t issued any statements about the virus and our federal government was barely speaking about the virus publicly.
Living in Lockdown
Eventually, as everyone knows, the virus did make it to the United States. First, it hit Washington State, barely later it hit the east coast. The second that there were confirmed cases in the United States it seemed as if everyone’s attitude shifted. Immediately this was no longer some abstract virus that couldn’t ever come to the United States, it was now on our soil invading our cities and communities. As we were sitting at home we were bombarded by videos of Italians in quarantine playing music and singing off of their street-facing balconies. Families rushed to the stores buying as much toilet paper, bleach, and canned goods as would fit into their shopping cart. The virus, while inside of the US, still hadn’t visited my state, but we were all bracing for what we expected to be a harsh and long visit.
Once the virus inevitably did hit our state, our local governments scrambled. I remember watching one city councilman say something along the lines of, “I will never vote for a curfew for [our town]”, about a week later as cases and deaths surged I saw the same city councilman publicly and apologetically back-step that statement by saying something like, “Never say never, I didn’t realize at that time what we were going to be dealing with”. That was the moment that I knew covid-19 was going to be one of the more significant and historical events of my lifetime. Seeing a local politician, who’s a lifelong conservative and against any type of government interference in the people’s lives and business, very openly afraid and voting for a mask, curfew, and maximum occupancy ordinances was eye-opening.
Though we were afraid, my wife and I followed instructions. We made the occasional visit to the store for groceries, but outside of that we stayed home, didn’t see friends, and didn’t see family for months. We were terrified of what would happen if we were to contract the virus and spread it to the eldest members of our family.
As we sat at home, we also dealt with personal hardships. With covid restrictions, the business I was working for eventually dried up and shut down. With nowhere open and nowhere hiring at the time, we were forced to put up a significant amount of debt to get by. To make matters worse, my wife was having a sharp pain in her stomach that came and went. While I was out of work we were paying out of pocket for trips to the emergency room, doctor’s office, gastroenterologist, and ultrasound technician’s office. We were becoming increasingly terrified of not only the virus, but also for our money situation. Until that point, we had done a good job of not over-spending and saving money where we could, but unfortunately, bills and doctor's visits stacked up and quickly ate through any money we had saved.
A Time of Personal Growth
Through lockdowns, my wife and I did our best to take care of ourselves. We ate healthily, we exercised in the garage, and we ran miles in our neighborhood. Since things were looking gloom and falling down everywhere around us, we took this time as an opportunity to better ourselves in every way we could. Though we were isolated from the rest of the world, both my wife and I experienced emotional growth in surprising ways that brought us closer together (being around each other 24/7 didn’t hurt).
Stimulus Checks and a Diagnosis
We were completely shocked to get stimulus checks directly deposited into our bank accounts. At first, we were confused why we received an extra 2,400 dollars seemingly out of nowhere, but upon texting our friends it became clear that it was relief money. We were excited. It did help for a time to ease the burden of a growing debt issue, but it didn’t solve it. We were hopeful that we’d continue receiving some sort of stimulus, but as months went by we realized this wasn’t going to happen. We both felt guilt of sorts because though we were in need we knew that there were families who were struggling more than us who may have been able to better utilize this money for more emergency situations.
With lockdowns and restrictions in easing we had a breakthrough. We took my wife to a specialist, who was able to identify her pain as a gallbladder issue. When they tested her gallbladder it was functioning at somewhere like 19% (not good). The doctors she originally saw should have been able to identify this, but for whatever reason, they didn’t, which left my wife in agony for months.
As Corona Dragged On
As coronavirus has dragged on, we were getting closer to a surgery date. When it finally came my wife and I arrived at the hospital in masks unsure if I would be able to wait for her in her hospital room. While my wife recovered from surgery I was also starting a small business. At the start, she could do very little for herself. Her parents came into town to help ease my workload, which I’m very thankful for, but I was still juggling work and taking care of her.
Now it’s a year later. It simultaneously feels like time has flown by and drug on. Vaccines have begun rolling out around the world including in the United States, but it feels many of us are at the same point we were last year. We’re waiting for something to happen, congress is once again pursuing a stimulus bill that we’re unsure will pass, and we’re largely separated from our friends and families as we wait for this nightmare to come to an end.
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